It’s the christmas night and im at my relative’s countryside house, sitting alone at the head of a long table, wearing 2 sweaters and working on my laptop. Yes, seriously working for cash and not for any abstract reward this time, at least in the short term. Outside in the garden is foggy, cold and malencholic. Is it not funny? Just a couple of years ago I imagined myself ending up in a hot place far away from here, with hot chicks, hot pots and talking about hot topics…
Accepting the idea of temporarily re-settling in the very first place that I thought I was going to leave for good, isnt easy at all, but it comes with some benefits as well. I have my own car and im free to drive to any place at any time across the whole european union which is giving me freedom of action. I have splendid networking that gives me protection and injects freedom of choice, I got a place where I can decide who gets in and who gets out, where I can finally play the role of the host and not the guest. A stable lan that allows me to download tons of international movies, stream any live show and talk freely and clearly to any friend around the world without bearing with tedious loading times.
However, I am embracing a solution of truce just because I was way too fed up with 3rd world settings; tired of seeing disorganization, scarce hygiene, uncontrolled birth rate, dirty, dusty and polluted cities but on top of all unlimited ignorance. Threatens to your propriety, your bank account and your person whoes life-value is worth less than a quarter compared to a civilized country.
Thinking about few months ago, while landing at Milan airport, I felt surprisingly happy to be back…for the first time ever.
I’m writing this from my intangible bubble in my melancholic bedroom, the room where I grew up, where I camped for the last 30 years of my life. Nothing revolutionary happend from the inside; the parquet has worn out, the furniture were from time to time patched and the walls re-painted. I imagined placing and hidden camera and shooting a film with a time-lapse of 30 years, later on observing the staticity of some objects and the fast pace of some others. What’s interesting is the depth of how everything is so related to time and how some stuff has exponential advancements while other is firmly fixed. I was expecting something different after 30 years, I thought we would have been using our voices to turn on the lights… but our switches are still the same. Anyway I’ve assisted to the technological evolution of seeing my desktop computer monitor reducing from 0.5 meters thick to a 0.5 centimeters. I’ve got hundred pictures on one side of the wall, mainly pictures of people I met around the world, which are constantly giving me the feeling that there is a huge part of myself that didn’t let go of them… or better, it’s probably still living with them: every photo contains a lucid dream, shining of its own unique light, I often smile at them and I wonder if I’ll ever see them again.
I need a long rest, I feel extremely tired… seven years of both phisical and emotional intense trials have debilitated me quite a bit, counting that I’ve been through the malaria and the h1n1, adapted to strenuous conditions and fought all around the world for my values, self deceived that a single soul can make the difference on this planet.
I finally came back as my family and relatives are getting old, real old, so we are facing major lifestyle changes; indeed some of them will pass away, some others will soon not be able to recognize me anymore… We are about to relocate to a new apartment, a smaller one, more suitable for a reduced census.
I also came back because I had to see a professional cardiologist, since when I was in Taiwan, during a general health check up the doctor found a very early stage of arteriosclerosis. Unfortunately the diagnose was re-confirmed by the italian clinic and although it’s not something that requires any particular therapy or medication at the moment, I was strongly recommended to quit smoking and drinking (nevertheless i just did it socially), engage in a regular aerobic-type physical activity and undergo a cardiovascular check up once or twice every year. After reviewing detailed and extensive blood tests, the specialist narrowed down the main cause of my arteriosclerosis: stress. Consequently he advised to cut down sentimental tension and anxiety to the minimum.
Maybe I’ll be no longer in shape to go back traveling with the same old and rough style; I would better substantially reduce the unhealthy frugality. Does all this mean that I am back for good? Hopefully not, but I sadly realized I could really end up being stuck in here because of some compromising situations and never be able to leave this place again, by all means. I still don’t know how it will be to suddenly undertake another radical change in my soul, being here for long term, seduced by the wisdom of living circumstantial stability but losing the grandeour of the stray spirit, the insatiable errant full of poetry that struggles to fit in the contemporary space.
Taken a great shot this time!!! Alan Rooster’s photography!
Dedicated to Matteo “little pone”, who has just gotten married yesterday: besides the usual felicitations, I’d like to thank them for the fine celebration throughout those 13 hours of gathering, rituals and banquets. Not only I had the opportunity to assist at my first Italian wedding since ages ago, but also to meet again some of my old friends, to mention a few, “kutt” , “sottosilla” , “lampe”, “pone”. I have known Matteo for more than 10 years , even though I haven’t seen him much lately (due to my traveling), I can say that I’ve seen him growing, since the time he was 13 or 14 … Now he’s 25 and he got married. Bella little. I cant tell the same for Luciana; I haven’t had the pleasure to get to know her yet, but… I’ve seen the passion in her eyes, the way she looks at him, the way she smiles at him. She really seems to be in love.
Anyways, I trust Matteo’s choice for his partner for life. He must have thought of it in depth. Well, I can’t avoid to repeat the most common cliche but yet, the most romantic: they’ll walk the path of life holding each other hands, they’ll share the good and the bad moments, in health or sickness, in richness or poorness, until death do them apart. Dear Matteo&Luciana, always walk forward, walk ahead and if you ever look back, do it with a smile…: ) To Matteo: you’re screwed man! P.S. Coming soon hot videos and more photos
Around 10 a.m. this morning, I went to the post office carrying a box which I had to send to a customer and a white envelope in my pocket with inside 200 Euro cash that I needed to pay a bill with. Some time later, when I finished queueing I realized the white envelope was gone! I panicked a bit, swearing like crazy at the sky for my fantastic and always punctual luck, went back to check if I had lost it on the way from home to the post office, but finding nothing, I almost gave up. Around 12.00 a.m. I went back to the post office and thought that if someone had seen that envelope on the ground, might have picked it up and put it in the mailbox just outside the office, thinking that it may have fell from the mail-drop-site. So I asked inside, see if they had a key to open the public mailbox to check if my letter was there! Nothing to do, apparently that branch had no key and according to the employees even if I had waited for the collector-guy, he couldn’t have possibly allowed me to search through the public mail.
Almost magically, a gentleman on his sixties next to the counter who had listened to my conversation, came close and told me that he knew someone who might have been able to help me. Said so, he kindly invited me to follow him to his car, where he pulled out an addressbook and made a call to the director of the mail-collection of Milan, who promptly vowed to provide adequate help and support. Few hours later, I received the call from him directly, saying that unfortunately the workers weren’t able to retrive my envelope… (they browsed 3 times without success). I hung up the phone in a bad mood, and afterwards, as last attempt, I went downstairs with my girlfriend to search again along the street sidewalks.
Anyone could have quietly picked up and kept an anonymous envelope with some cash inside without too much sense of guilt…
Shortly after, amazingly I met the gate-keeper of my condominium who said to have found the envelope!
The moral of the story, Im not saying I was never helped with such honesty in other countries, as indeed, I experienced an outstanding number or very helpful, friendly and genuine persons from oversea, very few from Europe actually. I still think Italy is the third world of Europe, a country of mafia and illegal immigrants scumbags where just 2 weeks ago they stole my bicycle at 4.30 p.m. right in the city center chained to a metal pole. All I need to say is that it’s not so common in the northern Italy for strangers to stop by and just do you big favours, and, today, what I wanted to express in the first place is that for the first time after more than 10 years, I felt quite proud and glad to be in my country.
